Answered prayer for a job

I forgot to add in my last blog that God answered my prayers for a job! I interviewed for a job last Friday at a place about 15 minutes from our home. They hired me on the spot! Now this is not a good paying job. I have not made this amount of money since I got out of high school; However, I am very thankful to have it!!

I had been praying for a job that would be close to home, & one that didn't require me to be on my feet all day (since I have horrible back pain). I prayed for a job so that we could save money for an adoption. Praise the Lord, He answered my prayers!

Exodus 15:2 (New International Version)
2 The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him.

Adoption Seminar

Since I was a teenager, I always knew I wanted to adopt one day. Back then I thought I would have a biological child, then adopt another child. Little did I know, that was not going to be God's plan.

I have *known* for years (deep in my heart) that having a biological child was not going to be an option for me. I had suffered several miscarriages & years of infertility. So, when I met my husband, I told him up front that if we ever had children, it would more than likely have to be through adoption. Luckily, he was totally fine with that idea.

Since then we have had two doctors tell us biological children are not an option for us. We have talked about adopting for about two years now; however, it hasn't been until recently that we have gotten serious about it. So, I have been researching different agencies & trying to learn more about the adoption process for several months now. I tend to get really overwhelmed when I think about the whole process. There is so much information out there & many decisions to make. So, when I saw that the church we are attending was hosting an adoption seminar, I signed us up! What better way to learn about God's view on adoption, and to learn more about the entire process.

We attended the seminar yesterday. I was very informative & very emotional. We were able to meet with couples who have been thru the adoption process, meet with different adoption agencies, learn about the financial aspects & options out there, as well as hear what God has to say about orphans of the world & adoption. I am so happy that we attended. I feel more than ever that the Lord is leading us to adopt. So...the next step is to continue to pray about it ~ pray for wisdom, guidance, and patience. We need to pray about when exactly we should start the process, pray for the Lord to lead us in choosing the right agency, for Him to provide the funds necessary, to give us patience thru the process, and to pray for the birth mother & child that He has planned for us!

I am looking forward to being a part of the adoption ministry at church. I believe everyone involved in the ministry will be a great support to us.

I will close with a verse that was in our adoption seminar workbook:

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Doctor Appt

While living in MS I met a nice lady in Wal-Mart seafood department. Don't ask me why, but some how we got on the subject of fertility. She gave me a card & told me I should come by her office. I don't know why; but I just assumed she was a nurse there. I was wrong....she was the doctor. (ha) She was the first doctor who really *got* me, and I felt completely comfortable with. She was awesome! Unfortunately, she wasn't able to come with me when we moved back to Nashville. :-(

So....now that we are back in Nashville, I had to find a new OB. I had my first appointment today. I found a lady that specialized as an OBGYN as well as Endocrinologist. I thought with my history she would be perfect.

The major reason I wanted to talk with the dr was to determine weather or not having a child of my own is really an option, & if not, should I have a hysterectomy to cure my endo. I am so tired of the being in severe pain each month; so I figured if I cannot have a child of my own, maybe I should just take it all out.

Well she confirmed what a RE told us last year....IVF is our only option of conceiving & that's only about a 30% (at best) chance of success. With those odds, we don't want to put ourselves thru IVF....not when we could spend that money toward adopting a child. Even though we had heard that news before, it was still hard to hear it again. I guess you always hold out hope that by some miracle they could be wrong. I think it was harder for GW to hear that news again that it was for me. I guess I have always known deep down that I would never have the privilege of having a biological child of my own...I would never experience what it was like to be pregnant, or to give birth. Although it still upsets me at times to think about it, I have to remind myself that God has something else planned for me.

With that being said, I am pretty sure that we will try to start the adoption process very soon. We have talked a lot about it the past few months; but just weren't sure if we could afford it, and aren't too sure about how the whole process works. So, we are taking the first step & are attending an adoption seminar at the church we have been attending. I am really looking forward to this.

So...back to the dr visit.....she did not think it would be wise for me to have a hysterectomy at this time. She says that will cure one problem; but create a whole new set of issues. She suggested I wait until I am in my 40s for that one. So....now I have 3 options as to how we control the endo & the pain it causes me. I am going to go ahead and take one of those off the list b/c it can cause weight gain & facial hair growth (ha). That leaves me with bc or an IUD. Now I just need to do more research on the two options so that I can make a decision....and do lots of praying!



Proverbs 3:5 (Amplified Bible)
5Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.

The Job

Well I have been on the new job for 2 days now....and I am not so sure about it. My main concern/dislike is that it is taking me over an hour to get there. It took me an hour & 20 minutes to get there this morning. Granted it was raining...but that is still way too long (in my opinion). I asked if they might negotiate on my hours so that maybe I could try & miss some of the traffic; but they said no. It is just a temp job; so I am going to try and stick it out....not making any promises...but I am going to try. I have been praying about it. So I am sure God will guide me in the right direction. I just have to make sure I am listening to what He is telling me to do :-)

I would like to put it out there that I am very proud & thankful for my husband working so hard to provide for us. Since moving back to TN, he has been putting in 12+ hour days, and usually working 6 days a week. I know he is tired & sore; but he very seldom ever complains about it. I just hope he knows how much I appreciate all he does for us. He is an amazing man & an awesome husband. God has richly blessed me!

Moving forward

Well after five months of being unemployed, I finally have a job! It is only a 90 day contract position; but it could turn into a permanent one. I am not worried about that now. I am just happy to have a job. It will help us out financially, as well as get my toosh back on a regular schedule. Since being off work, I have become a little bit lazy (imagine that). Most days I don't get out of bed until about 10 :-)

GW & I have also been talking about adoption a lot more lately. I keep going back & forth on the matter. There are just so many things to consider. It is very expensive....I question weather I would be a good mother....I worry that my past might effect our getting approved for an adoption. It would be devastating if we weren't able to adopt b/c of something that happened to me in my past. I guess all I can do is pray that God will let me know what He wants us to do. If He wants us to adopt, then He will provide whatever we need to make that happen. I just have to be patient & have faith.

Just Life

Well not much has changed since my last blog. I am still feel "off track" with things. I cannot seem to get motivated to get everything done that needs to be done.

I am still trying to get settled into our new house. I have done a lot; but not everything that I want or need to do. I guess I am just the type of person that wants everything to be done now. I know that isn't realistic; but that is just how I am. I am setting myself a goal to have everything done in two weeks....that includes having the bonus room unpacked, the living room complete, curtains hung, guest room done, and taking out the recycling.

I also need and want to find myself a job. I think it would do me some good to get out of the house. I need time to socialize with other adults. Not to mention, it would be nice to have that extra cash. It seems our extra spending money seems to be going pretty quick these days. You do not realize all the extra expense of moving into a new house until you do it.

On top of the house & trying to find a job, I have been contemplating having major surgery. It has been something I have been thinking about for a while now. It is something my OB in Mississippi had recommended I do after I had a child (thinking I would get prego quickly after my lupron depot shots). Sadly, with a second opinion, & going past my *one year window of opportunity*, children are not really an option for me. Now that I have come to terms with that, I think it is time for the surgery. I am tired of being in horrible pain each month; and I know if I do not have surgery, the endo will keep spreading. It is a major decision though & something I need to pray about. So...if you are reading this, please say a prayer for me.

Praise

I have been really stressed this past week (or two, or three). It seems to be one thing after another happening in my life. There always seems to be some sort of obstacle to overcome, or some sort of bad news come my way. I know the majority of this is the devil trying to knock me down. He wants me to question the Lord & he wants me to think God isn't there for me. I think the more I try to walk with God & try to do what I think He wants me to do, the more the devil tries to mess with me.
This is why I think it is very important to spend time with God each & every day. Make the effort to talk with Him, pray to Him, praise & worship Him on a daily basis. Do not always ask God for things or help with things, but also remember to thank Him for all his many blessings.
I seem to of gotten off track with my daily walk with God. I have been focusing more on the bad things that have been going on, worrying about them, and forgetting to thank the Lord for what I do have. So, the following is a list of 10 things I want to thank the Lord for:

Thank you Lord for:
1. loving me - unconditionally
2. your guidance
3. my husband
4. my family & friends
5. the roof over my head
6. the clothes on my back
7. the food I have to eat
8. my health
9. providing us with whatever we have needed - when we needed it
10. your son, Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for my sins, so that I may know you & have everlasting life

In closing today, please meditate with me on the following verses:

1 Chronicles 16:8-12 (Amplified Bible)
8. O give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known His doings among the peoples!
9. Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; meditate on and talk of all His wondrous works and devoutly praise them!
10. Glory in His holy name; let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the Lord!
11. Seek the Lord and His strength; yearn for and seek His face and to be in His presence continually!
12. [Earnestly] remember the marvelous deeds which He has done, His miracles, and the judgments He uttered [as in Egypt],

Verse 11 reminds me of something Joyce Meyer said on one of her programs....We need to learn to seek the Lord's face & not His hands (and what He can do for us)

Venting

Well since my last blog we have had more bad news. GW's grandmother passed away Saturday night. We have comfort in the fact she is with the Lord now & is not suffering any more. It makes me sad that we didn't make it out to the hospital to see her before she passed though. G.W. worked all day Saturday, so we thought we would just head out to the hospital first thing Sunday morning. Unfortunately, she passed away about 10pm Saturday night.

On top of the loss of his grandmother, there is so much else going on right now. This week is going to be crazy. His granny's birthday is today, our niece birthday is tomorrow, visitation is Tuesday, burial is Wednesday, we should get papers via email to close on our house in MS Thursday, should close on house here in TN Friday, and try to move Saturday!!

We have been praying for the house in MS to close out. This has been such a long drawn out process. We were originally supposed to close on 5/29, and it kept getting postponed. Now the buyers are scheduled to close Friday, 6/26! That is an extra four weeks it took them to get everything together! It caused us to pay rent & mortgage all in one month. If we had of known it wouldn't close until this Friday, we could have moved from one house to the other - which would mean we could have saved on rent this month, as well as not having to move our things twice in one month! I am also concerned that the $$ from the closing on our home in MS will not be wired to us in time to close on our house in TN. It is supposed to be wired Friday after the buyers sign their papers. Problem is, if we don't get it before 2pm Friday, we will have to postpone our closing here.

Needless to say, I am stressed & very frustrated. All I want is some peace in our life for a change. It seems to be one thing after another the past couple of years. I know God doesn't give us more than we can bear...but as Mother Teresa once said "Sometimes I wish he didn't trust me so much".

Well, I am going to close now. I think I will go try to revive my spirit with some scripture & maybe listen to today's Joyce Meyer's program....then take a nap.

Charlie

Today was a rough day....we had to put our lab, Charlie, down this morning. We took him to the vet last Wednesday b/c he didn't eat Tuesday & was not acting like himself. They at first said maybe he is just depressed b/c of your recent move. But then they ran a test, which came back positive for heart worms. That was terrible news; but they said we had caught it extremely early & he would only need two treatments instead of 3. They kept him at vet to monitor him after his shots. Then they said he quit drinking as well; which was not good. They ran an x-ray of his tummy over the weekend & said he had air pockets in his intestines & were going to give him meds to help things move out of his intestines. Well this morning they said he wasn't any better & wanted to perform surgery. Unfortunately, we couldn't afford the surgery on top of what we had already had to pay for his heart worm treatments, etc. We had to put him down. It killed me to put him down b/c we couldn't afford surgery. But the vet called afterwards & she opened him up to look at his intestines & said there was part of a leach in it!! She said it was so bad, they would have had to put him down anyway...that we made the right decision.

Your animals become part of your family; so it was very difficult to say goodbye to Charlie today. He was such a sweet & loving dog. He had a wonderful temperament, and just wanted to be loved on all the time. He is truly going to be missed...but I know he is in doggy heaven now & isn't suffering anymore.

RIP Charlie....We love you buddy

We are buying a house!

Oh boy...where do I begin to start with what all is going on right now! Lets start with the good news first....we are buying a house!! It is a little higher than we wanted to pay for a home; but with the location & all the upgrades, we are happy with it. I know the hubby is happy b/c the lake is less than 5 min away! :-)

Now for the bad news....our lab has heart worms :-( They say we have caught it really early & he should pull through; which is good news. But it is going to cost us some $$$. What gets me is he just had all his up-to-date shots before we left MS last week. He had a heart worm test at that time just b/c I was buying more heart worm meds. It was negative. So, it was shocking to find out a week later once we are in TN that he does indeed have them.

We also have not closed on the house in MS yet! They keep assuring us that it is going to close; its just being held up in the rural housing dept. They say we should close before next Friday. So, I hope that is the case!

Other than all that, things are good. I don't see things slowing down for us anytime soon; but that's okay. We are supposed to close on the new house end of this month. Then the week after that, we are going camping in Gatlinburg with my family. I also need to get on the ball with trying to find myself a job...

It's good to be home

Well I am officially a Tennessee resident again!

Moving really stinks; but I have to say it is nice being back "home"...and especially nice to be living with the husband again! :-) Of course, I have the house to myself tonight b/c he went to fish a tournament on KY lake. That's okay though; b/c I have lots to keep me busy.

I am meeting the real estate agent tomorrow to start looking for a house to buy. Part of me is excited about looking at houses, and the other part of me is dreading it. We don't have the time we thought we would to look for a house b/c my grandpa has sold the house we are renting!! So, hopefully we will find a house we want to buy very soon....although it seems every time I find a house I really like, it already has a contract on it :-(

It would also be really nice if we could close on our house in MS!! I found out tonight closing has been postponed AGAIN! This whole process has been so frustrating & trying. I pray a lot for the Lord to give me patience; so I guess he is trying to teach me to have some, huh?

Serenity

Today has been very trying for me. I try not to worry & get stressed about things I have no control over; but it is easier said than done.

I am concerned that we are not going to get to close on the house this Friday; which has me worried. Our agent assures me that everything is okay; but just not sure if the lender & title company can get everything done in order to close by Friday. It might be middle of next week. Normally that would not be that big of a deal; but we are moving out of state & have family coming in from out of state to help us move. Everything has been set up already to move & if closing is re-scheduled, it throws so much off. I know that it will all work out; I am just stressed about it right now. It doesn't help that I have been down here packing up this entire house by myself this week (which has me exhausted).

While sitting here worrying about how everything is going to work out, a certain prayer came to mind that reminds me to put all my worries in God's hands & He will guide us through.


The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3, 5-6

Rambling & Reflecting

Let me start off first by wishing my wonderful husband a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! He is turning 29...for the 2nd time! (ha) Unfortunatly, I didn't get to see him for his birthday. Instead, I went to Memphis today to watch my cousin graduate pharmacy school. I am so proud of her!!

After graduation, I drove back to MS. I have so much packing to do before we close next Friday! I just started packing yesterday & you don't realize how much stuff you have until you have to pack it all up! (ha) It makes me not want to move again for a really, really long time!! I have moved way to many times over the past 13 years & I know my family is tired of helping me move (hehe). Just two more times & I promise I am done for atleast another 5-10 years! {I say 2 more times b/c we are having to rent while we look for a house to buy}

As excited as I am about moving back to TN; I am also a little sad to leave MS behind. I was not thrilled at all when I found out we were being relocated to MS two and a half years ago. I never thought I would leave Robertson County - let alone move to MS! (ha) BUT I have to say, I have enjoyed our time here. Most importantly, I think it was great for my marriage. It taught us to lean on one another for everything & grow stronger as a couple. We didn't have our family or friends to fall back on like we would have living right down the street from them....all we had was each other.

All in all, living in MS has been a great life experience & one I will never forget! We made a few really great friends (which we will miss dearly!) - & we learned a few life lessons along the way.

Now we are gearing up for the next chapter of our lives....

Waited for 7 months for this...

Today was a good day! The contract we've been praying for was received today. We officially are under contract on our house! I am so excited that I will finally be able to live under the same roof as my husband again. I am looking forward to moving back home. God has provided for us once again; just as He promised He would.
Now comes our next obstacle...finding a place to live in 2 weeks time!

Hopes are high

Hello all ~

I am new to this blogging thing; but thought it might be a nice way for family & friends to know what is going on with me. This might also be a good way for me to get some of the thoughts I have running through my head out there, so I can quit worrying/focusing on them. (ha)

As for today, I have my hopes high! I believe we might be getting an offer on our house today or tomorrow! This would be such a blessing! The husband & I have been living apart for 6 months now, due to his job relocation. He is in Nashville & I am stuck here in Mississippi. Many people ask why we are living apart; but we just cannot afford a house payment here & rent in N'ville. We cannot just move in with family b/c we have 4 animals. Our living situation has been really tough; but we know God will provide for us. That is what keeps me going!

Ta-ta for now :)